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Perhaps we should be selective of our friends. I have lost a friend - a very intelligent man who succumbed to addictive drinking and was exposed to substance abuse. It is (very) possible I have not been a good friend either, but I could always work on that in the future.
Tiruvalluvar, a Tamil Poet of the Second Century BC wrote:
"Seek the friendship of the pure, and shake off the worthless even at a price"
"Friendship curbs wrong, guides right,
And shares distress"
You might respond, who was Tiruvalluvar? And who cares?
Well Tiruvalluvar was a philosopher and poet who wrote extensively on social behavior among other topics. In the Second Century, I am certain "right" and "wrong" carried very distinct black and white colors, unlike today. But for the purposes of this writing, I would apply the general terms of good conduct (i.e. the law abiding citizen), and positive behavior as being 'right' (pure). Negative, self-destructive behavior falls into the 'wrong' domain. You are welcome to take these definitions with a grain of salt.
Is addictive drinking a problem?
The answer is "yes." And don't just take my word for it! The answer is based on studies by researchers everywhere. Experts say you know you have a drinking problem when people have annoyed you by criticizing your drinking and you have felt bad or guilty about your drinking.
Accordingly, drinking is considered a chronic and often progressive disease with symptoms that include a strong need to drink despite negative consequences, such as serious job or health problems and is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors that are being increasingly examined.
On a serious note, although we may not be aware of the immediate problems associated with drinking, over time, the following problems can develop - as researchers found them closely associated with addictive drinking and substance abuse:
1. Violence, aggression on children and spouse.
2. Impaired pregnancy and children with learning disabilities.
3. Children/ youths gain access to alcohol drinking.
Stress and Drinking
What causes one to drink? Well, mostly some say the 'broken hearted' or weak-hearted take to drinking, but that may not be entirely true. I remember the Hindi song by Mohammad Rafi as I write, "Mujhe duniya waalo, sharabi na samjho" ("O people of the world, please do not mistake me for a drunk"). But it seems excess stress contributes to drinking.
According to academic social studies (Kassin, 1996), the prevalence of increased stress and trauma in times of war and can potentially lead to self-destructive behaviors such as addictive drinking. Treatment and prevention of stress include taking up beneficial group activities, being positive/non-hostile, seeking social support and if I may add, prayer.
Some of our fore-fathers prayed in Sanskrit to the Divine as follows:
Vishay Vikaar Mitao
Paap Haro Deva
Shradha Bhakti Barao
Santan Ki Sewa ... Om Jaye Jagdish Hare
Transilation:
Annihilate my sensory traps
Forgive me of my sins
Grant the boon of faith and worship
and desire to serve thy creation
O Glorious Lord of the World!
I recently found the interesting data from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
1. More men than women are dependent on drinking alcohol and experience alcohol-related problems.
2. Drinking is inherited and tends to run in families. This supports the genetic pattern.
3. A person's stress level and the availability of alcohol can influence his or her drinking habits.
4. Drinking habits can be treated by attending support groups but the habit can be shaken off by focusing on your personal life goals, staying close to family and supportive friends.
5. Alcoholism treatment is effective in many cases if one deems it necessary.
6. In the US, one in every 13 adults suffer from alcohol abuse.
Finally, I made a list of negative characteristics associated with hanging out in social pubs:
o You may be targeted for robbery and violence/abuse from another group and can potentially lose your life
o Under the influence, you may engage in dangerous sexual activity leading to sexual disease, problems relating to unwanted pregnancy and or death
o You can be tricked by gangsters while under the influence of alcohol
o You can develop an addiction to alcohol, causing you to lose your job, and disrupt the normalcy of your life.
o You may become violent and as a result, lose respect in the eyes of your family members and friends
o You may innocently get injured even as a bystander or lose your life during an outburst of violence
In summary, your future lies in your own hands. Now is the time to focus deeply on your academic, professional, personal and family goals.
To get information about Substance Abuse and drinking, call the Alcoholics Anonymous in the US, 212-870-3400, 1-800-344-2666. Canada: 1-800-443-4525. Call 1800-662-HELP for additional information.
Editor' Note: From this issue we welcome Seori Autar as a columnist. Seorie migrated from Guyana to the US in the 1980s. After completing her Undergraduate Studies in Human Relations at Pace University, she has worked in the Corporate Sector. Seorie also pursues Indian Classical music and enjoys writing poetry.