PRIVATE LINE: Dialeck in crisis

Some people we got in Buhbayduss
Does mek talkin' loud a career . . .
Duh's somehow get duh mout' in motion
Befo' puttin' duh brain in gear.

Duh now describin' dialeck
As "slave talk", ef yuh don' mind'!
How dem does t'ink show duh missin' a link,
Dat duh tek a six fuh a nine.

But leh dem prance an' hop - I still en gine stop
Puttin' Bajan dialeck 'pon show...
As Sandi say, duh could like it or lump it -
From my pen it will always flow!

Wuh after all, yuh could master English
An' appreciate dialeck, too...
But it look like to onderstan' dah simple fack,
Yuh got to be a qualified guru!

Bajans dat shame o' we dialeck
Got a slave mentality -
Not de ones duh accuse; um is dem dat choose
To be out o' touch wid reality.

Dialeck is a element o' culture,
Part o' we way o' life,
An' to attack anybody dat promotin' it
Is to try to engender strife.

Duh should realise dat we vernacular
Like a tasty pot o' stew,
Dat de seasonin' we does lace it wid
Does mek it sweet fuh true.

Whey else, but hey in Buhbayduss,
When people lickin' duh mout' non-stop,
Yuh's say duh mout' wukkin' overtime,
Like "flappers 'pon de ole mill-top"!

In we talk, "a good maulspriggin'" mean
Yuh skin get soak in blows;
Yuh's be "pompasettin' an' perlixin'"
When yuh showin'-off in new clothes.

Expressions like "breadfruit-swopper",
Sweetskin-bucky" an' "hadja-buck"
Graphic fuh days - jes' like de phrase,
"Um is salt yuh got to suck!"

No equivalent in standard English
Could match "kill-cow" or "crab-mash",
"Hog-t'omas" or "molly-booby",
"Moojin" an' "fire-calash"!

Ef yuh call somebody "a god-horse"
Jes' because duh tall an' t'in,
When duh "piss-parade", yuh could tell dem
"Check t'ree spawns from yuh chin!"

We might liken yuh face to "a buggy-lamp"
Or even to "a bleddy drag-sword" . . .
Ef yuh belly "look like it touchin' yuh back",
We's say yuh ches' "like a jookin'-board'!

Who want to bewze me fuh writin' dialeck
Hittin' duh head 'pon a big brick wall . . .
Till dah become a crime, duh wastin' duh time,
So to all o' dem, I say: 'bes haul!