I AM NOT ME

In times of heroism

I stood like a rock.

The centre held firmly.

Once I was me,

True identity.

Out of time, came downfall,

Like the splashing waves

Against the balanced ocean floor,

Angry and violent.

I don't know you

And you don't know me.

Things have fallen apart.

I am not you, him or her.

Then who am I?

Forgive me please, for certainly

I am not me.

IS THIS POETRY?

For a planned Christmas in New York,

I was to be there away from work.

An emergency trip was unexpected,

My sister was critically sick.

I wanted to be there quick.

A second planned trip to New York,

My niece was getting married.

Sister died same night,

The trip became tight.

Father of the bride I had to be,

That was not meant to be.

Bitter and sweet feelings

Came rumbling and tumbling.

Crushed by fatal instinct,

The heroism was distinct.

I started to drive to New York

Instantly, the snow storm started its work.

Defeated, unable to see, I returned home.

The wedding was at 6 p.m. in the church.

A touching, emotional ceremony

While deceased sister lay in a beautiful casket.

I rushed to the funeral parlour

To see a loved one lay motionless.

Frozen, I had to fight my emotions.

Family, friends and strangers sharing grief.

Life is a descisive factor to be chosen

Between two undescisive elements.

The root is gone but the branches remain united.

The family tree will continue.

The wedding continues at the reception hall,

It was quiet without a ball.

Most guests made it to the funeral parlour,

Then to the hall, emotions without glamour,

Like a robot I delivered a speech,

Shadowedby a multiplicty of chain reactions.

Here today, there yesterday

But nowhere tomorrow.

Funeral was two days after the wedding,

Sad it was to see so many weeping.

The memories linger all over

As a main chapter is over.

December 2002. A real life situation.

STRING OF HOPE

I sold the house and land

To go to America, the lucky land.

On weekends I cleaned houses everywhere,

They called it domestic engineer.

Every month I sent U.S. dollars for the wife,

After nine months she had a baby for her boyfriend

And bought a car for him.

I got deported after three years.

In Guyana, I married education officer's nicest daughter,

She heard I am a certain kind of engineer

After two months she dumped me.

Someone told her that they deported me.

I drank whisky three weeks and talked big lie,

Paying the bar lady with U.S. dollars when I got high.

She was crazy for me,

Until I got she and the whisky free.

She gave me money to go back track,

To Canada I chanced it with her husband Jack.

I worked as janitor in one big building

Marrying a Canadian without hesitating,

And still holding on to the only string of hope.