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Life Turned Around Through Rehab |
Basil was born on May 10, 1951 in Diamond, East Bank Demarara, Guyana in a large family of four brothers and six sisters.
According to his elder brother, Richard, who resides in Toronto and flew to New York for the funeral, Basil grew up in Grove Housing Scheme. He attended Grove Government School and then worked at Diamond Estate.
"He was an ordinary young man just like any other young
man in the village. He did his pranks
and mischief sometimes, but he was well behaved. He took his
schooling well and he worked part time from around age 15 with
a Chinese grocer, Cho Ping Kwong, who found him to be an excellent
worker. I met Cho Ping Kwong several years later in Canada. He
inquired about Basil. Cho shared some pleasant stories and comments
about Basil".Basil emigrated to the US in 1981 with his wife, Sheila, and young son who is now 24.
"They did pretty good as new immigrants. He provided a home to his family and had a good family life until the early 90's when, because of booze, his marriage broke up and from there he went downhill", said Richard.
I remember Basil and his wife very well because I was the broker when they purchased their first home where they still reside. I remember him as a good family man who had his ups and downs but he was hardworking. The family separation may have led him into a depression and more alcohol. In fact, Richard said depression took a heavy toll on him because "he became heavily dependent on alcohol which drove him downwards. He eventually reached the bottom before he started to rise up again".
I recalled seeing him traverse Hillside Avenue, New York City, in the evenings. And many times I would talk to him and even inquired what he was doing with himself. He would often say, "Well, you know I have to survive and I have to do what I have to do."
Indeed, simply talking to him in a very nice casual way, not counseling, helped bring him to reality. He would say: "Kali look, every man will find their day and the truth will come out sometime and you always insist on the truth". He was referring to a causative factor that drove him into depression and alcoholism.
I saw him recently and was about to dismiss him as the same person I knew until I noticed he was sober and we had a nice conversation. He revealed something that was surprising. He said: "Kali, you've been teaching back home but I'm teaching here". I was taken back by the fact that he had transformed his life and become a teacher in the U.S.
He explained how his life totally changed and he became a new man, free of alcohol and how he was inclined to back his wife and was living at home again with his family. Basil said the rehabilitative program he pursued changed him completely.
His brother Cecil noted that family members and relatives were instrumental in getting him into a program to rehabilitate his life. "I thought he was so far gone that there wouldn't be no return back to normal life. But we insisted upon him to seek help and took a lot of bad rap from him for trying to straighten out his life. He tried several rehab programs but would cheat and break the rules. Finally, when he decided that he was the only one who could turn his life around, he decided to enroll in the program".
After his oldest brother, Patrick, died in January 1999, Basil became serious about entering a program to get off alcohol. Richard and some other relatives, in particular his niece Anita Beekram (Pinky), a social worker with the City of New York, were successful in getting him into a program in upstate New York at the Saint Joseph Rehabilitation Center run by Franciscan brothers of the Catholic Church. "We finally got him up there in this very expensive program for recovering alcoholics and addicts. The center is in Lake Sarnac about forty miles from Lake Placid," Richard said. "It is very beautiful, peaceful and serene".
According to Cecil, "Basil did better than we expected. He turned his life completely around. And in turn he was helping others in the same situation he was once in. We all became proud of Basil and he of himself. He was trying to prove to us that he was going to be somebody better. He was on the right path again. And it was a real shock when we got the news that he suddenly passed away. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see him recently, the last time being a month before he passed away".
Richard spent 56 days in rehab. During that time, his relatives went up there for 4 days to take part in the program with him. That's a requirement of the program. Richard and a sister went upstate to be with him. Basil's son couldn't make it but he sent a letter of support to his father.
Richard said that "whatever Basil learned in the program, I too learn. I came to understand people with problems, alcoholics and drug addicts. And my tolerance and compassion for them have changed dramatically since that time. Not only for people with problems but for everyone".
Richard added, "Basil is testimony to the fact that these programs really do work".
Richard said that having gone through the program with his brother and reformed himself in the process, it was time to sit back, enjoy his life and relax and share what he learned.
For the short time he came out of rehab, he pulled himself together. He remained under supervision. Part of his program is with AA and he agreed that once he had gotten out of the program he would go out and help other addicts in the outside world. His task was to help them out and to show them that the rehab program works and you can get off alcohol if you want to.
Richard said that several notes were found in Basil's room. The notes alluded to the difference he made to several peoples' lives.
One note in particular read: "Thank you. You've made a difference in our lives."
Richard said that "what he accomplished made me felt very happy. I was pleased that he was helpful to people. He wanted to achieve a lot in the short time that remained in his life. After he recovered, I think it was under a lot of pressure from that sort of program. He was working full time and in the evening he was going to school, to college (3 evenings a week and I warned him about extending himself".
I told him that he was pushing himself too hard. But he said he was going to be okay. But it never worked out because he passed away.
Basil's wife described Basil as a wonderful and giving person. "He was generous, sharing and forgiving. He was a calm person". She said that before his death, "We made peace and understanding and a new beginning of our lives. We were communicating again. He said very nice things about me. He gave me all the things to comfort me again. And he told our son to please respect his mother. If he had stopped drinking earlier, he would have conquered the world. In fact, he disliked alcohol and advised relatives not to drink. He started to study and did medical studies. He took an exam and passed and was pursuing something else. I will miss him enormously".
Basil's death, no doubt, is a great loss to his family and to the alcohol rehab program where he helped to get people off alcohol. There is no doubt that he will always be remembered by all. Indeed, Basil was a true reformer from where he was and what he achieved. Unfortunately, he could not have achieved or put into full practice everything he learned. But one thing I can certainly say and that is that he did make a difference and in impact in other people's life."
One lesson to be learned from Basil's life is that mankind can disappoint mankind but when God makes an appointment no man can disappoint Him.